I wasn’t expecting that


It’s tough isn’t it.

And Christmas, well.. that was ages ago. Surely we should at least be in March by now?

I am not Winter’s biggest fan.

Don’t get me wrong there are things I like, although I am having to think quite hard about what they are, but days like today, for example, the sunny ones, with blue skies and sunshine, they remind you that even in Winter there can be lovely days.  There was a crisp frost this morning and it looked amazing, the early morning sun shining over the fields and trees made the frost sparkle like diamonds, reflecting rays of sun in the distance.  It is certainly a much better sight to wake up to, than dark gloomy clouds and the cold dampness of rain.

The come down after Christmas always takes some getting used to.  Before Christmas it is so ridiculously busy, there is always something to do, somewhere to be, an errand to run and in general most people are excited and happy. Then once Christmas has been and gone everything changes and you quite literally have nothing left to do.  You are broke, or at least a lot worse off than you were before Christmas and you have no plans to do anything, except work.

Life is boring again.

The days are short and the nights have been cold and damp.  Jesus!  We have had a lot of rain.  This makes getting out of your pyjamas a gargantuan task that requires a considerable amount of effort and anything that means leaving the house once you have returned to its cosy warmth, is strictly forbidden.  It is Winter and once you are home, the ‘clothes’ that you wear ‘indoors’ are just not suitable for being seen, by anyone, ever.  Everything is fleecy or fluffy and a coupe of sizes too big, so you can layer up and worst of all, most of it is hideous colour that you wouldn’t want to be buried in, never mind, pop to the shops in.  No.  Once you are in, you are in and there is no going back out again, unless someone is dying and even then it would be a case of telling them to hang on, while you co-ordinate again.

Soon it will be my birthday, so quite why I am in a rush for January to end I don’t really know, as birthdays are not my favourite thing either.

Reading this you might think I am depressed, I am not.  I think at my age it is Okay not to like your birthday.

On the whole I see birthdays as another year lived rather than another year over, but lately that year passes so quickly and you try to think what happened in the last year and then you realise that you can’t remember anything noteworthy happening.  You see the older you get, the more you realise that time is short and it goes really, really quickly, so your birthday, when it comes around again, is a reminder that yes you are alive, still, which is good (obviously), but also that another year has gone by and in the grand scheme of things and even on the odds that you may live to celebrate a few more birthdays yet (hopefully), you have got to start doing something, what I am not sure, but something.  Something that in a few years time you can look back on and think, yes, that was a great year.

Time and money two of life’s great bug bears.  Some say time is more precious than money but do have time to spend on and with the people and things you love, you have to have money.  The two don’t always come hand in hand.

I am excited about the year ahead, it is a big one for all of us, in terms of learning.  Elsie is in her exam year and Tom will be entering into year 10.  The year of decisions about his future, which to Tom doesn’t really extend further than next weekend, but he is thirteen and to him the future is light years away.  If only he knew, that one day he will be sitting where I’m sitting and wondering where the bloody hell that went, asking his old self why he didn’t do more of this, or try more of that and having his own little mid-life crisis.  I hope he has enough money to at least by himself a sports car.

Talking of cars, loosely at least.  I had to get a new one.

It was a bit of a surprise and one I certainly hadn’t budgeted for, but none the less it happened.  The incessant rain seemed to be playing havoc with my poor car, it just wasn’t running very well, then on our way to football training one evening before Christmas, I was unable to avoid hitting a huge puddle, which had seeped across the road and enveloped the car in some of the county’s finest muddy rainwater.  It’s a good job I didn’t have my old Mini or I would have conked out on the spot, as it was I managed to get to training and back, no mean feat I can tell you but the next morning I could tell my poor car was not well, a fact the garage later confirmed.

It needed a new engine.  It wasn’t just the rainwater, although it certainly didn’t help.

Sadly, the cost of a new engine would far outweigh the value of the vehicle and so it was with a heavy heart and a slightly lighter purse, I drove my poor little car home to die.  In actual fact it didn’t die, if anything when the weather turned and it stopped bloody raining for five minutes, it actually seemed okay, but it was a flicker of false hope.  My car was dying and despite the rally at the end, I knew I had only a few weeks to accept it and fork out for another one.  Happy New Year!

I can’t say I was expecting to get a new car, or indeed to make any costly purchases to be honest, but that’s life isn’t it.  There is always something waiting just around the corner for you and it is usually a brick wall.

I don’t expect a lot of things in life and maybe that is my problem.  I am never prepared for the surprises that come my way.  I bumble along in my own little bubble thinking everything is just fine, it’s not great or exciting or disastrous or anything out of the ordinary, it is just fine and then just when I think.. Oh! Everything actually is fine, some fucker comes along and just let’s me know, that actually you shouldn’t get too comfy in your ‘just fine’ world because you never know what’s around the corner.  Well, thank you.  I’m so glad you dropped by fate, or kismet or karma, or whatever your goddam name is!

…. and breathe.

Anyway, long story short, I now have another shiny new, but not new, second-hand car.  Largely thanks to my Sister and her husband who are much more financially solvent than I.  At least one of us had the good fortune to marry well.  Something I feel my Mother should have been much more insistent about!

I mean all this independent woman stuff, seriously.  Where did that get me?

Cleaning my own drains that’s where and buying crappy second-hand cars, which hopefully this one isn’t!

I mean it looks nice.  It has all the things you would hope a car has, like wheels and something to steer it with, lights so you can see where you are going in the dark and comfy seats. The engine, well.. that’s a whole other issue and one that I know absolutely nothing about.  So fingers crossed huh.

It’s blue and I like blue cars so that is a good sign, I think. 

..and if that wasn’t a really girly thing to say I don’t know what is.

So in the two weeks left of January I have no plans, other than to box set my way through it.  I moan about paying for subscription TV and to be honest if it wasn’t for Tom and Elsie I probably wouldn’t, but in January I binge watch with the best of them.  I just have to learn to stop binge eating while I’m doing it, otherwise when Spring finally comes around and I have to wean myself out of my fluffy clothing again, that will be my next moan.

Not that I moan a lot, obviously. 😉



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