Mucking fuddle…

Oh my days.  I have got myself in a right mess.

I started this week with one date on Saturday in Brighton with Manuel, he isn’t really called Manuel but I don’t know what his name is so Manuel will have to do for now.  It suits him as he is Spanish.

I was, I thought all fine and dandy.  Then as the week has gone on and I keep chatting to others I have got myself in a right mucking fuddle.

I ended up agreeing to a date tomorrow that I really don’t want to go on.  I then arranged another date for Saturday with someone I do like and do want to meet (bear in mind I am supposed to be meeting Manuel on Saturday),  then I arranged to meet someone else for coffee Friday lunchtime and Mr Married will not leave me alone! Nor do I want him too? He is quickly becoming another itch I want to scratch.

Now I am being bombarded by all these people trying to make arrangements and confirm times and sort out a place to go and all I really want to do is stay home, drink copious amounts of vodka and wrap myself up in a duvet.

What am I going to do?

I like the look of Manuel and he seems nice, in the way that he hasn’t yet sent me a picture of his cock , this alone is worth a fair few brownie points.  I don’t really want to go all the way to Brighton and I do keep asking myself what we will do if I like him and by some bloody miracle he likes me, when would we actually see each other.  The distance is too great for a casual fling.

Hence why I kind of arranged to meet someone else on the same day.  I’m going to need a secretary at this rate.  He is more local, much more local and I like him, he is (so his photo says) a nice looking guy.  This makes it a more realistic prospect doesn’t it?  Please say yes.

I have also arranged for my friend to come round tomorrow so I can go on a date with D, 41 from Kent but I don’t fancy him. Our chats started out okay and he was quite funny, I like funny and so he reeled me in.  Why do I keep agreeing to go on dates with people I don’t fancy?  I think I will like hin, he seems nice, I think he will be pleasant company but I know that I don’t fancy because I have seen his pictures.

He did not fall out the ugly tree but he just has no hair.  I know I keep banging on about this but I can’t keep trying to force myself to fancy these people can I?  I keep agreeing to meet them because I keep telling myself that I might like them.  I might find other things attractive about them and then I will fancy them wont I?

So far this theory has not worked for me.  I have met all the nice ones and the seemingly right for my age group ones and the ones who send nice messages and I haven’t fancied a single one of them.

I think I am inevitably going to cancel tomorrow because I just can’t face it. I should be looking forward to it not bloody dreading it.

To make matters worse T, 37 from Kent, remember him?  He was way back at date number 2 or 3.  He messaged a few weeks back asking to be friends.  I kind of brushed it off and said he should look for a girlfriend not a friend blah blah. Then this morning he message a quirky “hey Jo Jo” by this evening he had messaged to say that he wanted to f*** me and had sent an accompanying picture to show me exactly how much.

I haven’t heard from him in three weeks?  How on earth did he get the impression that was the right thing to do?

If my phone was seized by the police I fear I would be in trouble.  They would be hard pressed not to think I was running escorts are us, men for hire, all shapes and sizes available and pictures to prove it.

Then there is Mr Married. This guy drives me nuts. He is rough around the edges I know this because he surprised called me yesterday, through the app.  Something else I didn’t know you could do.  I am such a bloody novice at all this it is frightening.  He has a deep rough voice and probably looks the same.

He is well practised at what he does, I don’t doubt that for a second.  He is not pushy in an obvious way but he is persistent, short sharp and to the point and witty with his one liners.  He knows exactly what he is doing.  He knows when to back of a bit and when to put the pressure on and he is getting exactly what he wants and that is attention.

He wants sex obviously and he has said so and he wants to meet, he does not hide his intentions.  I am still saying no.

Tonight he messaged me and said that at some point today he was within a mile of me.  When he told me where he was today I knew that he was literally around the corner from me.  I freaked out a bit at this news demanding to know how he knew that.  He laughed it off and said that while he was on a job today he searched for matches on the app and I came up as the closest person to him so he rightly assumed he was near to where I worked.  I didn’t know you could that either.  Seems there is a lot I don’t know.

Okay, so I thought it might say something like, this person is within 5 miles but not…

Hey.. this person is literally round the corner from you if you take the next left and then follow the road down 500 yards you will be at her doorstep, happy stalking!

He thought my horror at him almost knowing where I worked was highly entertaining and it seems he works in the same town.  What are the odds?

This has led to us having quite a lengthy conversation this evening our longest yet.  What is it about him that keeps me replying?  Intrigue?  Is that all it takes?

I am late in posting this blog as it has been a hectic evening.  I had to make an emergency call to one of the buddies for reassurance that I am not entirely losing my shit all over again.  She confirmed I never really had my shit together in the first place but set me straight in her conforting and reassuring way.

All this can not be good for you, on the plus side good weight loss again this week as the nervous anxiety is back in full swing!

I am off to bed now in a vain attempt to try and get some sleep.  Tomorrow I am not even turning my phone on!



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